Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
