So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
