You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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