It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
