So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
