Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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