I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I will be naked everywhere
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
