I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize