Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
