The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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