i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
