no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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