I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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