My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize