Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
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You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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