I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
