I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
