i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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