I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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