I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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