Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize