I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
