I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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