just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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