nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
