watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize