At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize