absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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