we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
