i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
