fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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