Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
