We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
