Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
