week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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