is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
