tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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