So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
