But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
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Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
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The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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