im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
