I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize