Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
