Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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