I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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