worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
