8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
