wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They have beer where we have blood.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
