she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
