I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
