Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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