I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
