please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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