When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
