In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
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if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
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He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows