did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
