i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
